Thank you for your honest and very special post. Dave and I go through the same thing – finding time between plane trips, and late night presentation preparations, late night courses, frantically reading and preparing for early morning teaching slots. What has worked for us is to make sure that we MAKE time for one another. It is conscious but done with great heart from both sides and it seems to be working. And making time doesn't even need to be a weekend away. It can be half an hour of genuine presence with someone you love. People complain about not having enough time with the person they love – seldom because of the amount of time but because of the quality of that time. We have a saying called Shifty Eyes and that's our code when either of us is geting so busy that we are losing the idea of the other one being present. It works for us. Maybe it could also work for you. Take care, Elaine

Thank you for your honest and very special post. Dave and I go through the same thing – finding time between plane trips, and late night presentation preparations, late night courses, frantically reading and preparing for early morning teaching slots. What has worked for us is to make sure that we MAKE time for one another. It is conscious but done with great heart from both sides and it seems to be working. And making time doesn’t even need to be a weekend away. It can be half an hour of genuine presence with someone you love. People complain about not having enough time with the person they love – seldom because of the amount of time but because of the quality of that time. We have a saying called Shifty Eyes and that’s our code when either of us is geting so busy that we are losing the idea of the other one being present. It works for us. Maybe it could also work for you. Take care, Elaine

Generally speaking, I am a big believer in putting family and even friends first and somehow getting all that work done in a way that doesn't detract from that valuable time. It is very much a work in progress.

Belinda what can I say. I know you and Colette are in the same boat and your husbands are very similar in nature! As Colette said to me tonight it doesn't have to be an all or nothing approach and I know it's the small things that make the difference.

For my sanity though I need to change my lifestyle. I planned to do this anyway near April 09 when my next child is due but now is as good a time as any. It's going to be tough but in the long run it will be worth it – I truly believe this.

Generally speaking, I am a big believer in putting family and even friends first and somehow getting all that work done in a way that doesn’t detract from that valuable time. It is very much a work in progress.

It's important for me to feel that I belong somewhere in Stii's life and that I am very special to him. Don't let the nights that you are working into the morning hours become the rule, let it rather be an exception to the rule. I understand if Stii needs to finish certain things, but I get very irritated if it happens week after week. You can ask Stii how many times we've had huge fights about the same thing. And then it goes better for 2/3 weeks and we're back to square 1 again. Sorry to say, but it happens.

But I love him just as much and appreciate every minute he puts into his career. He could have been someone without passion and drive and therefor without hope for the future.

Belinda what can I say. I know you and Colette are in the same boat and your husbands are very similar in nature! As Colette said to me tonight it doesn’t have to be an all or nothing approach and I know it’s the small things that make the difference.

For my sanity though I need to change my lifestyle. I planned to do this anyway near April 09 when my next child is due but now is as good a time as any. It’s going to be tough but in the long run it will be worth it – I truly believe this.

It’s important for me to feel that I belong somewhere in Stii’s life and that I am very special to him. Don’t let the nights that you are working into the morning hours become the rule, let it rather be an exception to the rule. I understand if Stii needs to finish certain things, but I get very irritated if it happens week after week. You can ask Stii how many times we’ve had huge fights about the same thing. And then it goes better for 2/3 weeks and we’re back to square 1 again. Sorry to say, but it happens.

But I love him just as much and appreciate every minute he puts into his career. He could have been someone without passion and drive and therefor without hope for the future.

Often we think about these things and future-date the changes we should be making in our lives. But the thing is you never know what is going to happen tomorrow or if you will even be here.

Good luck and well done on good choice and priorities!

As tough as this current post has been I actually feel a whole lot better and have much more closure and resolve since the incident. Before I kept holding on to it all but now I know what's really important to me.

Maybe once my priorities are sorted (seeing as it's not going to happen overnight) I can blog more frequently!!!

Defenitley struck a nerve deep down inside, and my mind hasn't stopped thinking bout it all day.

Time to make some changes. Thanks

I've been trying to manage this with my wife as well. I've actually just returned from a non-business trip. Friday morning we hopped on a plane with 2 friends to Durban. Besides one report I had to do and email off, I did absolutely no work this weekend. We had loads of fun and it was well worth it.

I've been trying to latch onto a lesson by Stephen Covey – about the emotional back account. He says that the more deposits you make, the more withdrawals you have available when you need them.

This weekend was a huge deposit. If I have to work late this week – for example – that's a withdrawal, but it'll be okay because I'll still have a smiling bank balance.

I hope your marriage and business ventures are filled with all the goodness and splendor that you deserve!

Jamaal

Recently Derivco hosted the first GIBS Leadership Forum event in Durban. Keynote speaker was Brand Pretorius, chairman and chief executive of McCarthy Motor Holdings. At the end of his speech one of the things he was asked was how he……

Good luck man!